its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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