It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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