I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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