i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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