And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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