Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
did i just pee glitter
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
