D3 body, D1 cock
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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