A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
