so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
