i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
