She said her name was "party"
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
