i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
