is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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