just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
