wat bout pragnant strippers??
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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