Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
