need another drink. this is the easiest way
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
