What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
