I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
