her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
thus making me awesome and them whores
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
