And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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