I need help removing her.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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