Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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