I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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