We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
