I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just made out with a guy for $7.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
