I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Randomize
