did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
