ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
How's work?
Spinning.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
