Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
