Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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