well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I wish i was in the wii world.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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