Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
