If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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