You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
