...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
