He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
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