You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
