His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
