At least make sure they are 18
Why
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
