There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
