Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
