no you cant smoke seaweed
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
