Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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