Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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