Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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