PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
