does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
