I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
