Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
